Trouble Getting Pregnant? The Stress of Trying to Conceive
Having a baby is one of the most exciting events you will ever experience in your life. If you have trouble conceiving though, this wonderful time can be filled with stress and doubt – making conception even more difficult. Infertility can lead to feelings of loss, anger, shame and denial. It can also negatively affect your relationship – leading to stress, dissatisfaction and anger. Don’t let it take a hold of you and your relationship. Here are a few ways to cope with the stress that trying to conceive can place on you and your spouse:
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• Learn how to relax. In this incredibly stressful time, don’t let your anxiety get the better of you. Practice relaxation techniques daily. Ask your partner to give you a massage, take a bath or take a walk when you feel yourself getting upset. Some find acupuncture or yoga incredibly helpful – not only to reduce stress, but to improve fertility as well.
• Make sure there isn’t a physical problem. If you have been trying to get pregnant for some time to no avail, there may be a fertility issue with either you or your partner. Get everything checked out by your doctor so you can properly assess all of your options. Being infertile does not mean you cannot have a child.
• Don’t let it take control. Fill your days and your relationship with plenty of fulfilling things to take your mind off of conception. Stress does not help you any. Take part in some classes – such as cooking or ballroom dancing – to not only get closer to your partner, but redirect your energy into something positive.
• Don’t make sex a chore. It’s no secret that trying to conceive can be a libido-killer. When sex feels like an obligation, it’s not likely to be any fun. Make sure your loving-making is still loving! Light candles, feed each other chocolate-covered strawberries, or do whatever you need to do to relax and get in the mood.
• Talk about it. Share your angst with your partner. Don’t resent him because he is expressing his sorrow in a different manner. Men tend to bottle up their sadness, while women are more likely to display sadness by isolating themselves, crying, or having trouble sleeping. If you aren’t finding enough support from your partner, seek professional help. There are psychologists and counsellors that specialise in helping couples cope with the stress of infertility.
• Go on dates and do the things you love to do together. Don’t allow this to take a hold of your relationship and cause damage to your bond. Go out for dinner, go on picnics or go for walks and take a break from talking about (and thinking about) having a baby.

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The most important thing to remember when trying to conceive is that stress can decrease your chances of conception! While it may seem impossible to take your mind off of having a baby, doing so may actually assist you conceive. Breathe, relax and keep busy. Talk to your spouse about your feelings and make time for romance. Cherish these last few months with your partner before your lives change forever with the addition of a new family member.